Something that could change your mood instantly. Something that could make you want to run and hide from the world for a while. Although some insecurities may be considered small, to others they may be the very thing that could control their lives. As humans, we often lead life with our emotions and our hearts on our sleeves. Insecurities add an immense amount of pressure to be perfect. When perfection isn’t reached, insecurities take a front row seat in the control room of your body, mind and soul.
I have always idolized certain people because of their appearance. Whether it be over their smile, eye color or simply the idea that their entire being is consumed with perfection. I have wished for the perfect body but to also be blessed with a perfect face to match. I always thought Shay Mitchell played this role pretty well. One day, you start finding out that people aren’t perfect but they do work very hard to achieve the things they want in life.
Growing up and to this day, I idolized someone who isn’t a celebrity but my cousin. For as long as I could remember, I have always tried to be like her in every area of my life. I always wished that one day I would look like her- gorgeous. Over the past year, I was able to learn a lot about her. You see, I always believe that she was perfect. I believed that she didn’t worry about things like boys, looks and life in general. In my eyes, she was like a celebrity. People seem to have this ideal that celebrities have these perfect lives and nothing to worry about but this is the farthest from the truth. They have family and friends they worry about. They get illnesses and have insecurities just like everyone else. They worked hard for the job they have and work their butts off to be and look the way they do. Even being and looking “perfect” they judge themselves and have flaws like everyone else. So, when I realized that about my cousin, it really made me think about how I look at people.
I never thought of my cousin as someone who could have insecurities because I didn’t see any. I am coming to the realization that sometimes when you love people, you cant see things like their flaws or their insecurities because you accept anything and everything they are. You don’t see their flaws and imperfections as flaws and imperfections. You see them as characteristics that are part of them, that make them who they are. You see them as likeable traits and things that make them unique. So, why is it that we can’t look at ourselves this way?
Obviously, growing up I was not the most confident person and I let a lot of things control the way I lived my life. I’ve had so many people who love and care about me, tell me how much they love me and how highly they think of me. I had the very person I look up to, tell me things she loved about me, that I have always admired about her. I have had strangers thank me for the smallest thing I have done for them. I have had people tell my parents, “Oh you have such beautiful children.” So, why is it so hard for us to believe that we are attractive? or liked? or simply far from what our insecurities tell us?
Two people who I love very much made me look at insecurities from a different perspective. One being my idol, I would always tell them, “Ugh, your so gorgeous! I wish I could (look like you, do my makeup like you, be as thin as you, etc.)” The second being someone who is like a sister to me and always seems to get all the guys. I always tell her, “Your so thin. I wish I could be as skinny as you.” Never once thinking they didn’t think that way about themselves. They both have insecurities and both have things they wish they could change about themselves. Even BEYONCE has insecurities.
We all have things we wish we could change about ourselves but that shouldn’t keep us from living our lives. Their are things I don’t like about myself and haven’t for years, but I’m working on changing the things I can and working hard to achieve my goals. As for the things I can’t change, I am learning to love them slowly but surely. There are many flaws I used to complain about all the time, I realized the other day that a year has gone by and I forgot all about them. I forgot about them because I stopped worrying about the things I couldn’t change and discovered they weren’t that bad in the first place.
We have to remember that no one is perfect and everyone has insecurities but things you hate about yourself may be the very thing someone loves about you. I’m not saying to let someone else determine what you change and don’t change, but just remember not every thing you consider an insecurities is a bad thing. Sometimes you just have to live with the characteristics and traits you have been given. Try to think of them more as cute quirks that make you different from everyone else. They make you unique and an individual. They make you who you are. They make you YOU.
So, stop trying so hard and just live in the moment. You will be surprised to find out how many people could care less about flaws and “imperfections.” For the people who do, do you really want people like that in your life anyway? Be with people who will accept all the good and bad. Not the ones that just see the flaws and imperfections.
Be who you are because who you are is pretty perfect in your own way.